Andrew Anywhere

Thursday, December 08, 2005

What the f**k is wrong with this country when:

- The US Army is promoting shoot-em-up video games where you get to kill a bunch of Arabs
- Lindsay Lohan's music is nominated for a Grammy Award
- 90% of music on MTV carries a message that degrades women and promotes gun violence
- National heroes in the US are basketball players and Puff Daddy
- Teens' dream cars are Chevy Suburbans with ghetto rims and tinted windows
- Middle aged suburbanites drive SUVs outfitted like ghetto drug dealers transportation
- Video games are marketed to middle-aged men

Oh I can't go on, I have to stop, this is making my altitude sickness come back.

Things To Do In Denver When You're ..

So I'm starting this Blog thing a bit late. This is the same Blog thing that has been out there on the web since the mid-90s and I, Mr.Cutting Edge Technology, chose to completely avoid it. However, after having read The Great Canadian Mileage Run by Marc Tacchi (http://gcmr2005.blogspot.com/) I decided to let the world know that I exist. So here we go!
It's Monday night, December 5th and I am stuck in the middle seat of a packed NWA A320, about row 23. I hate Northwest Airlines, have I mentioned that? They don't deserve to be in business and I really hope that they go under so Minneapolis can finally get some competetive carriers in there. This is officially my last revenue flight, enough to get a reward ticket so I can go home to Toronto in January. But anyway folks, on my left is Obnoxious Bob, the guy with short curly hair in pleated pants and wingtip shoes. Bob (or OB) keeps talking on his obnoxious Sprint phone to his wife and telling her how he "let her down". Shut up Bob, no one is interested. Ever heard of phone etiquette? On my right is Cowboy Jim. Jim is from Wyoming, he's going home to Casper where it's peacefull unlike the bustling Gotham City of Minneapolis. Jim manages to throw in " I recon" every few words. Is this the face of America or is it OB?
Oh well, off to Denver. After landing and taxi-ing for miles throw this massive airport (larger than Manhattan), we are at the gate and I pick up my luggage . Skip 2 hours later to the hotel. Loews Denver is really nice. There are things that make a hotel a great hotel and I am not going to get into the details, but if you ever stay in Denver, stay at Loews, it rocks.
The following morning I woke up to a lovely temperature of -23 and the effects of altitude sickness. Having been at sea level for the last 20 years of my life, Denver was not welcome in my stomach. Between the headaches and the vomit, I was already looking forward to getting home. Driving to class in a ridiculously frozen and unmanageable Dodge Stratus was borderline dangerous. No traction, no brakes, blindspots everywhere. Am I spoiled by my Audi or should these things just not be allowed on the road? The brakes lock up instantly when pressed at 30mph and the car slides sideways immediately.
So anyway, Denver. Denver sucks. It's like Minneapolis, but more isolated and hicky. Is there such a word? There is no zoning (titty bar next to the Target parking lot), lots of bars on windows, completely unrefined people and what appears to be a subpar infrastructure. I want to go home now, even if home is still Minneapolis.